The loss of a father

I first wrote to Tanya Vance immediately following Survivor Thailand, because while she was there her father was very ill, and she was fortunate enough to get to come home and say goodbye and put the past behind them. I hadn't talked to my father since I was barely out of high school. We never really connected, and due to a lot of bad circumstances, I moved away from home to go to college after graduating and pretty much never looked back. He passed away two Thanksgivings ago, and I never had that chance to rectify the past with him, and feel bad that there were no emotions going through me at all when he died; mainly thought to myself, what if things had been different. I guess we all have many different paths to follow, some that bring joy, some that bring sadness, and some that are just indifferent.

Be Kind to Animals

After moving to Arizona, the thing that fascinated me the most was all the different wildlife that lives here. I've never, in my many travels, seen a "Bear Crossing" sign; and I've learned through life, I tend to be more compassionate toward animals than I am to other human beings. I am much more likely to stop at the side of the road to help a lost dog, or wounded animal than I am another human being. I feel a bit guilty about that at times, but animals don't go to the side of the road to trick those compassionate folks that exist in this world. Two Survivors who showed that same compassion for animals are zookeeper Cindy Hall, who you'd often see paying attention to the noises and animals that were there in Guatemala, even to the extent that after coming back to the States, she felt like she left "home", and Jan Gentry who had a very moving moment burying a baby bat that had died. I know many people who have absolutely no concern or compassion for nature, which is a shame. It tends to put life in perspective for me as to what's important and what's not.

Frustration over quitters

Having tried to get on Survivor so many times already, one thing that has always frustrated me is people that want to quit when they get there. Of course, I haven't worn those shoes, and I'm not as much frustrated by people that think they can make it out there, then find its too difficult, but I get frustrated that the tribes don't vote them out, and Melinda of Survivor Panama really did a good job of showing that frustration, when Shane wanted to go home, yet she got the boot instead. Granted, Shane did change his tune, but I could totally understand her frustration! When I went to Dallas to try out at one of the live casting calls, it was about 20 degrees out and I was wearing shorts and a T-Shirt, waiting for many hours outside, and I was shocked at how many people that were appropriately dressed were complaining or actually left the line to go home; made me kinda wonder what show they thought they were trying out for. I still haven't got a call to audition, but stubborn as I may be, I'm not giving up!

The Redneck Comedy Tour

"Redneck" James Miller has got to be one of the most colorful contestants to ever grace the Survivor cast. He was hysterical about getting beaten by Coby in the wrestling-type challenge, had great one-liners, and definitely is not ashamed of being a redneck from Alabama. In his letter to me, he wanted help in getting his name out there, and if anyone is looking at this....James Miller NEEDS to be part of the Redneck Comedy Tour...he is definitely a funny guy with great stage presence.

Names the Same

When it comes to work situations its very easy for me to drum up conversations, and no one would ever figure out that there is a shy part of me that tends to show itself in social settings. I'm not the type of person who easily makes conversations with people I don't know at parties and other social settings unless I can immediately see a common ground, like a person wearing a T-Shirt from somewhere I've been or when someone happens to have the same name as me. It does seem kind of weird, in introductions, to say "Hi Jeff, I'm Jeff." But it does work in breaking the ice, so I guess if everyone was named Jeff I'd be doing ok socially. I'd always wanted to be a news journalist, so I guess following Survivor Outback Jeff Varner's footsteps, it could be the "Jeff and Jeff" show!

Its all about inner strength

I haven't updated the blog since my move to Arizona, and what a ride its been. Right before getting here I got my collage back from Jolanda Jones of Survivor Palau who has both inner and outer strength. The job at the Red Cross here is much different than Texas, and I have had to reach deep down within myself to start making things happen. I have a long road ahead of me, but remembering Jolanda's strength has helped me find my inner strength to persevere!